What has 389,236,587 arms, has rainbow colored fur, and fornicates on your front lawn? Absolutely nothing. That's pretty much physically impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why couldn't the woman drive? She was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between an Asian bookkeeper and a Jewish dog? This isn't a joke, it's an assignment for school, I need to write a 3 page paper on this. Any ideas?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What happens when you cross a porcupine, a beaver, a duck, a go-cart, a dinosaur, a star, a cheap "Big 'n Beey" bathroom, and the cookie monster? Justin Bieber. XD

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you stop a dog from digging up your garden? Every time it does so, shout at the dog so it knows it has misbehaved. Keep doing this and the dog will eventually understand the error of its ways.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Study from real life: My trip to Texas. (From the time when I was interested in mormon-ism.) Texan: And here is my gun collection, great for shootin yer Mexican scum. Me: Uh I am Norwegian but my ancestors where Russian or something so my skin is... Texan: *points gun at me and pushes trigger halfways* Just kidding der son, sure you aint no Mexican though? Okay just checkin ya know... Me *sweating bullets* Texan guys gun go off almost hitting me and breaking a vase.. Conclusion: He blamed me, everyone had lunch outside later, everyone kept looking at the "trigger happy MEXICAN"... Nero: By then I began grasping the fact that I was better suited for the study of the dark arts... And also learned that in Mormonism, Heaven and Hell are planets locked into war, where black people where neutral, and red people are demon supporters, but WE CAN ALL BE SAVED BY BECOMING WHITE! JUST LIKE THE ANGEL MORONI! Conclusion two: Moroni... Lol.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is the difference between a jew and girl scouts. Girl scouts come back from camp

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red, pink, white or yellow. Stop stereotyping my arrogant fellow.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a fly without wings? A rather unfortunate physical disability

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I found my car in the lot with a broken tail-light and a note under the windscreen wipers. I accidentally reversed into your car, Lots of people saw me do it. They all think I'm writing down my name and details, Well, I'm not.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock, knock Who's there? You... and you just lost the game. -Eka

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the boy get hit by a bus? HE didn't. He watched where he was going.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

You know what's funny about AIDS? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man with his masters degree, has a great job, and gets good money. Has a wife and kids. He is very successful.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the chinese man kicked out of the bar? Because he was under aged

thumb_up thumb_down -7

And the girl said: "I'll be ready in 2 hours!"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two friends were running late for their school gathering. As they arrived the train station, one friend said 'Quick, we need to catch the train!' The other replied, 'Can't we just get in it?'

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did rachels computer break ? Because she was using it in the road and got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a deer with no legs? Legs in the City

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is the definition of child abuse? Ms Bazan

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Man 1: my wife has lovley perfume. She smells like a peppermint cream. Man 2: Yeah, I know, I spent eight hours shagging her last night.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did your mum die young because she had canser

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops