How do you piss of camon? Have sex with shelby!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Those that want what is best for me, shall listen to me and do only whatever I want. Those that want ONLY what is best for me, underestimate me greatly. You who stand in the way if my will, claiming you want what is best for me, better move aside.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

like this if you think what ever you want to..

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what do you call a professional gamer Their name

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did my bed broke? Becaus i had sex with your mom!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats the best joke ever? womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why do ducks have webbed feet? to stomp out fires. why do elephants have flat feet? to stomp out the burining ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between a black cat and a black cat? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's grey and can't fly? A castle

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Did I say twenty times? I meant two hundred, you already know this I gather, but your subconcious understands mathmatics and multiplications at a whole different level because its potential is indefinite.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why wasn't the boy at school? Obviously it was the weekend.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Your mom is so dumb that she had a below average score on her IQ test.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why was the woman in the kitchen? because societal standards placed her in such a situation

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock, knock -The door's open.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A blind man walks past a fish market then says "why hello lady's" ????

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What is BIG, STIFF, AND FULL OF SEMEN!!!? A SUBMARINE!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

how fast does it take to kill a blonde? Give me a gun and i will find out

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's harder than nailing a dead baby on a tree? My dick while doing it.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A blind man walk in to a bar... He then yells a 4 letter explative, backs up, and walks around it.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops