How do you get out of a car with only a baseball bat and a hammer? Unlock the door.

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How do you stop R Kelly from peeing on little girls? Kill all little girls.

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Why was the fat lady on the Medicine ball? Because she was fat!

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A muslim man takes a flight to New York. He lands safely at JFK airport.

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Why did the boy drop his lolypop Because it tasted bad

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it Biting into a baby and finding a worm in it

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A hermaphrodite walks into a bakery, orders an eclair, then leaves.

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What do you call a 2 storied house ? A dolphin! :D

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Why did the man start a shooting spree at walmart? Because he is mentally unstable and people at walmart make easy targets.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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A man walks in to a bar, He sits down and enjoys a pint.

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fun fact for the day: 100% of people that drink water die sooner or later

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what happens when an Asian and a Jew get married. They have children.

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How much dirt is in a 4 by 6 by 8 hole? None its a hole.

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Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: None. Woodchucks do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grasp or throw anything, so the point is moot unless they evolve thumbs for the sole purpose of chucking wood.

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why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

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How do you kill a Jewish person? Like any other person, they are like any other person of any race and religion.

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a horse walks into the bar. the bartender asks why the long face.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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Why should you never push a Mexican off a bike? Because he will file a lawsuit against you in the event of an injury.

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What did Harry Potter say when he lost his wand? Where's my wand?

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Timmy: "Dear Santa, why don't you ever come to my house?" Santa: "Because you don't have parents, Timmy" THE END

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud…

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How long did it take Jeff, a middle-aged man with a lifelong speech-destroying lisp, to overcome his impediment? Less than ten minutes, as carbon monoxide is a colorless, odorless toxic gas that eliminates oxygen at a rapidly-acting rate inside of small areas such as the car Jeff locked himself inside.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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