MLG 420 NO SCOPE THE JEWS

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A man was chopping wood, he then brought the wood to his house and lit a fire.

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What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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Three construction workers are sitting on a beam high in the air, getting ready to eat their lunch. "Hey!" someone shouts. "Get down from there! That's a safety violation!" So they do, and instead they eat their lunch on the ground.

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Q: What is creepy and stares at you when you sleep A: Me

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...Jack Vale

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The customers observing this quickly leave because the bartender is talking to a horse, which does not talk.

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A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: Yes. A: Thanks.

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Your Momma's so ugly that if she got plastic surgery she would probably look better

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What didn't last long? You in the bed

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We know about the cocaine.

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What's the difference between Lady Gaga and the Bogeyman? Nothing.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

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What's cooler than ice ? Liquid oxygen.

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Why didn't the man enter the bus driven by a black man ? It wasn't going where the man had to go.

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Did you hear about the fetus who met a clothes hanger? I doubt very much that you did.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm a dog

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what is the best thing to do if you are stuck in a cave with ten lions that haven't eaten in ten years? well the lions aren't the thing to worry about because if they have not eaten in ten years then they would have starved to death

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

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How do you stop a bus? Wait at the bus stop and it will stop for you.

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There once was a man from Peru Who fell asleep in a canoe He got a slight case of sunburn which improved later after applying some ointment.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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