Penis chickens

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What's Tyrion Lannister short for? It's not short for anything, it's his full name.

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"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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What do you call a Muslim that walks onto a plane? A passenger

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Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

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Why does Owen Wilson have an ugly nose? Because of his refusal to get plastic surgery.

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Why did Elmo get depressed? All his friends sacrifised themselves to satan

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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Kameron Brown is gay.

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Why couldn't the baker get a new car? Because he lived in a recession and nobody was buying his cakes.

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"Why did the chicken cross the road? ... To get to your house. Knock knock." "Who's there?" "The chicken"

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor, beause he was feeling really crumby...becuase he has testicular cancer

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What makes boys so stupid? They like to play with girls' hearts and break them until they spew out blood all over the place.

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What did the elderly lady say to the man? You still have not repaid my services

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what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

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what do you call a prostitute with white eyes? emma , with the cloudy iris,

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What's the difference between a rhinoceros? I DIDN'T MURDER MY BROTHER OKAY!!!!!

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why did I fall off a tree? cause i wanna to

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What's worse then finding 10 babies in 1 trashcan? Finding 1 baby in 10 trashcans.

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty eight year olds? They are of the legal age

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what did the duck say to the other duck Quack

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Q:Why did the baby cross the road? A: It was stapled to the chicken

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It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops