Why couldn't the bartender sell alcoholic beverages? He got fired

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why couldn't Jimmy's bedroom door close? Because it had a tree blocking it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's orange and is a loyalist in the orange order? Caoimhin McCann?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cot Death.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

a kid was running across the street. he just got hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats happening when you see your TV floating at night? You are probably suffering from some sort of mental disorder which causes spontaneous hallucinations and should seek medical help before the condition worsens.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

BIG MAC'S

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's sad about 4 black people in a cadillac going over a cliff? It was my cadillac

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Your momma is so fat that she's developed a cardiovascular disease and has 5 weeks to live

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb, one to suck my dick!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

i had a black friend once......just kidding

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Benny: Hi, my name is Benny, what's your name? A potato: ...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why were you at a funeral? Someone died.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the bunny cross the road? Because it waited until a car was driving by and then got run over.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Jimmy: Knock, knock, Grandmother: Who's there? Jimmy: Jimmy Grandmother: Jimmy who? And then Jimmy held back tears as he knew grandmother's Alzheimer's disease was getting worse.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why is the earth round? Because God saw it was flat and thought "too flat lets turn it around" And all was good.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats black and white and red all over? Genital Warts...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red Violets are blue You're a whore

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the little Jew boy get for Christmas? nothing he is a Jew, he doesn't celebrate Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A. Knock Knock. B. Who's there? A. Orange. B. Orange who? A. Orange you glad your retarded because you think oranges can talk?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops