Q: What happened when Cupid shot his arrow into the guys heart? A: He died

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What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

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Why didn't Sarah come to school today? She had a heart attack and died.

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What do you call black people in a church, Holy shit

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

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A captain crashes his boat into a rock. He has the option to save to save his wife or his best friend. He saves neither and drowns.

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Hey babe, do you like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people? Because I like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people.

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a blind man walks into a wall

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Hey, you are competitive, but let me have the last word here and you will like it. If you keep poking your nose constantly, the effect will actually overlap, making it stronger and stronger, by all means though, make sure you keep some nose working alright?

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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You are so ugly that for Halloween you had to trick or treat by phone.

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A Gamer walks into the tavern, the bartender says to him, "just dont act like you control the place!"

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knock knock who's there? john john who? john opens his mouth only to be gunned down by a terrorist attack

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Dad: Blind side was the black kid who played tight end. Me: Offensive line. Dad: Sorry, African American kid.

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why did the clown cross the road? to kill everyone in the dark knight midnight premiere

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Jesus. Jesus who? You're going to hell.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Im a dog

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Why was the boy at the funeral? Because he was dead.

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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What is the difference between green and desert sage? About 20 bucks a gallon.

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why was the frog sad..... because it was stappled to the boys face

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Sir, do you know what time it is? Yes, it is 5:15 PM

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops