Q: If a hen-and-a-half can lay an egg-and-a-half in a day-and-a-half, how long would it take a peg-legged grasshopper to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle? A: He'd give up.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man and a Rabbit are in a bar , the Rabbit looks at the man and says, none of this is real.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How did the mexican die while fixing a lightbulb? He fell off the ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: What's the difference between an Indian and a Trampoline. A: You take your shoes off to jump on a Trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l, m, n, o, p, q, refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Penis chickens

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why couldnt hellen keller drive a car? because she was a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -21

France had one revolution

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why does my face bleeding theres an axe in it

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Guess what Timmy got for Christmas, Nothing, Timmy has no parents, he's an orphan.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man is mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he reaches down to see if something's stuck in the blades. What does he pull out? His finger.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you make an onion cry? Kill the chef.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man offered a little boy a ride home. He drove the boy home where his father preceeded to beat him senseless.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why wasn't Susie happy? because she was raped by her grandfather.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the chicken cross the road...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

An Irishman walks out of a pub. Just kidding.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What happens when a leprechaun refuses to give you his pot of gold? He doesn't give you his gold.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? It is unlikely that this situation would occur, as tractors are very large objects and losing one would be very hard, furthermore, tractors are vital agricultural vehicles and most farmers would take care in not misplacing one.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

In an apartment complex, a black family lived on the first floor, a mexican family lived on the second floor, and a white family lived on the third floor. Suddenly, at about noon on tuseday, a giant tornado came through town and took out the entire complex, destroying everything. Why did only the white familey survive the catastophy? Because both parents were at work and the kids were in school.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

One day an irishman walked into a bar. he started to show off his accent when a nicely dressed lady said to him, "are you from ireland?". "AYE" said the irshman. " what part of ireland are you from?" drunk, the irishman replied "uh downtown" then the woman said, " did you come here alone?" then he replied"no i didn't come here a'lone.....DONKEY!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Your family is so fat that when their feet hit the ground, it recorded 9 on the richter scale, because they were launched at the Earth at close to the speed of light, and when you account for relativistic mass effects, the amount of energy that was displaced into the ground was tremendous

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the lorry cross the road? It was swerving to avoid a small child. Unfortunately the driver's reactions were too slow and he hit the kid. After a week fighting for their life in hospital the child fibaly died. There wasn't a scratch on the lorry though.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops