What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

What happened when a star exploded? It killed billions of other sentient beings.

What's big and green and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A snooker table

What's the difference between a chicken and a bartender? A chicken is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the red junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more chickens in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep chickens primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs. A bartender is a person who mixes and serves alcoholic drinks at a bar. also bar-tender ; 1836, American English,

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

Whats the difference between Obama and Hitler? One is the President of the United States The other is a fascist dictator that killed millions.

Boy: Hey girl if I had hand-cuffs, I’d lock myself to you right now! Girl: I would find that extremely creepy.

I drive a 'rarri

What did the father say to his son? ....nothing

What did the man say to his wife before she made him a sandwhich? Do your job and make me a sandwhich.

My grandfather died in a concentration camp. He fell off a guard tower and broke his neck.

—Conversation started today— My God, why have you forsaken me? Seen 6:00 PM

A man lying in bed at night rolls over and starts rubbing his wife's back. She says, "Not tonight, honey, I have a headache." Her husband respected her wishes and went to sleep.

What did the cow say to the chicken? - Muuuuhhhhhhhhh!

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Why did sara fall out of the tree? -she had no arms.. Knock knock. -who's there? not sara.

Q: What happened when Cupid shot his arrow into the guys heart? A: He died

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause it wanted to

A clueless chicken walks into a bar. Now being cooked on the BBQ.

What's worst then getting struck by lightening? your face.whats worse then seeing your face? NOTHING

wake n shake = wake up and masterbate to a picture of drew e mom o.O

whats fun,atracks children and says wrape van on it my van i lied about it being fun

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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