Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

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why was ej's penis hard? because he had just got done having fine exquisit sex which he had ejaculated with a sturn body builder name frank who he had been seeing for the past few months.

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Q:What's the greatest part about having sex with twenty five year old girls? A: There's 20 of them

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What is 100(1+1) -100 + 50 x2 - 300? 0. But who cares? The answer is as worthless as you.

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knock, , knock , who's there the gas man the gas man who ? the gas man who is gonna turn your gas off !

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Why did the mexican buy 50 tacos? Because he was taking them to the orphanage where he grew up. Isn't that nice?

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Chuck Norris.

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Why did sara fall out of the tree? -she had no arms.. Knock knock. -who's there? not sara.

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A man lying in bed at night rolls over and starts rubbing his wife's back. She says, "Not tonight, honey, I have a headache." Her husband respected her wishes and went to sleep.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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My grandfather died in a concentration camp. He fell off a guard tower and broke his neck.

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—Conversation started today— My God, why have you forsaken me? Seen 6:00 PM

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Roses are red, My name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van

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Yo mamas so fat, when she jumps in a pool she displaces a disproportionate volume of water.

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How many people with Alzheimer's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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What did the father say to his son? ....nothing

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Whats the difference between Obama and Hitler? One is the President of the United States The other is a fascist dictator that killed millions.

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There was an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman. Now there's millions of them. And women too.

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What did the man say to his wife before she made him a sandwhich? Do your job and make me a sandwhich.

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Donald trump walks into the whitehouse. He's there for a business meeting with the new president.

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What did the crazy asian man say just before he died? He didn't say anything- he was in an 18 month long coma due to a brain stem stroke. He left behind a wife, a 3 year old daughter and a newborn son.

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A clueless chicken walks into a bar. Now being cooked on the BBQ.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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