What does it mean if you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars? You both have five dollars

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A family goes to a talent agency and performs an act. They call themselves the aristocrats

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the child say after the priest touched him? Thank you for the ashes Father, have a blessed Lenten season.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why was the postman sad? because ran over a small child with his truck

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How did the blind man cross the road? With the use of a cane and a registered seeing eye dog

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a black man with mishap-in head scares on the left side of his face and a 3rd degree burns on the right side? a very unfortunate guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

roses are red... violets are blue ..... Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Stones cannot fly. Humans cannot fly either. Therefore.. I wish I didn't get AIDS...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the zombie eat for breakfast? You. You fell a-sleep

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why is SkrillEX bad at fishing? S EX

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles

thumb_up thumb_down -10

so a man walks into a bar and Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man rode into town on friday and left on friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a week

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

The awkward moment when you don't know whether to like or dislike this because you think I want like so you are gonna dislike but what If I want dislikes, but what if I want likes, you are confused Antijokeception....

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red, Violets are blue, the holocaust didn't actually happen, besides I hate jews

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Who wins the battle of climbing a fence, the Mexican Man or the Black Man? The Mexican Man, the Black Man is still hanging from the tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Did you see my sandwitch? No. I am your sandwitch, and therefore no one thought to put me up to a mirror. Would you like me to? No. I have no eyes. And why are you talking to a sandwitch??? ...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Today, I was thirsty so I got in my kitchen and took a bottle of juice out of my refrigirator, I realised the bottle was empty, so I immediatly took a walk to the store and bought another bottle.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The fact that you actually took time to read this cynically hypnotizing answer that you cannot seem to stop reading even though you know that this sentence is just a clever run to show the epitomy of the anti joke. ha-ha.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the cake say to the icing? Come here

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Coach: Hey, you missed the team meeting today, but I wanted to let you know we've had a number of changes to the lineup. Player: Really? Who's on first? Coach: That's right. A man with the unlikely name of Mr. Who is on first. We also have Mr. What on second, and Mr. I Don't Know is on third. The rest of the team is the same. Player: Oh. People have weird names now. But I'm sure they're great guys. Thanks for explaining that. Coach: Any time. Don't mention it.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops