What did the child get from there parent on Christmas? Nothing. He's an orphan.

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What is the name of the mermaid on the Starbucks logo? No one knows, she ran away many years ago of shame. It's undiscovered why.

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Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

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Wanna hear a joke? Too bad.

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What's the best use for a van full of candy? Donating it to an orphanage.

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why did u put your iphone in the blender?!?!? because i wanted to make apple juice..

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why did the zebra cross the road?

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Are you still trying to turn me on or something? Well its not not working. Anyway, what is yogurt? So I am eating dead bacteria here? Ifs so strange I feel like I have known you my entire life.

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Why can Michael Jackson no longer moonwalk? because he's dead.

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Quaint? Oh yeah? YOU ARE QUAINT! No seriously, whats that word all about.

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What do you get when you cross a dead monkey, a chair fitted with wheels for use as a means of transport by a person, Isaac Newton & the creator of the website? Stephen Hawking.

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What do you call a guy named Bob hanging by a string? Plum Bob

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a girl? I've stuck my penis in a pizza

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how do you make a plumber cry?.... kill his family

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A dog walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer The barman replies : Woof Woof

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rock crushes scissors, scissors are useless. scissors cut paper, little stips of paper are usless. paper covers rock, structure of rock remains intact.

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ok when a fat person say he on a diet i said your on a sea food diet what evert you see you eat now get back to school John f kennedy students

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven threatened six's family after insinuations of seven being a cannibal.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo Don't worry I'll be there too! Not in the cage But laughing at you! ??

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When life gives you lemons, you must also have a proportionally sufficient amount of both water and sugar in order to make lemonade.

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Some guy: Which of these is not delicious,watermelon,chicken,or kool aid. Black guy: What?

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what do you call a bunch of black people in a pool cocoa puffs

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Yo mama's so ugly, She cured cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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