Why didnt the car turn on? Cause the keys werent in the ignition

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A dog says to a horse "Hey, why the long face?" the horse just looks at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two trains, on the same track, left different stations, and travelled in opposite directions. 74 people died.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock, Knock! Who`s there? Your mama`s stupid! Your mama`s stupid who? Your mama`s stupid as a rock! I` m going to cut your eyes out and use them as baseballs!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE I HAVE AIDS NOW YOU DO TOO

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the homeless man not get any ice cream from the store? Because he was not very bright and didn't try in school. Therefore he couldn't find a job or get his job back at the janitor at Go-Mart. This proves that not doing your school work correct can really effect your future. Plus they was sold out of chocolate.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: How many nuns does it take to eat a dead racoon? A: 2

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between your mother and a prostitute? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Your mother is so dumb, that she had a very poor ACT composite score.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you make a tree angry Overall trees have no sense of emotion therefore it is impossible to anger a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's green and has wheels? A green car.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Yes or No? You're wrong because it was both.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what is the difference between Rick Perry and Lindsay Lohan? it only takes Lindsay 4 1/2 hours to finish a sentance.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why couldnt the old man ski? There was no snow.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

knock knock who's there? dave dave who? dave suddenly burst into tears as his grandmothers altzimers became so serious she forgot his name

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops