What do you call a women with 2 black eyes? Hopefully nothing because abuse is something that shouldn't be messed with and it is wrong.

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Once upon a time, there was a boy. He was 12 years old. He is dad was rich from his business and so when it came time for his 12 year old boy to turn 13 he insisted on buying the boy whatever he wanted. He thought that the imagination of a 12 year old boy might in fact humour him, even if the cost of such a present reached the millions. He asked his son "Son, a very special day's coming up", his son smirked "I know Dad". "Well, what would you like?" asked the Dad. His son pondered for several seconds before replying, "honestly Dad, all I want it 12 Pink Ping Pong balls". The Dad, curious and a little disappointed asked "of course son, but why?". His son replied "I can;t say, I'd just like them for my birthday please". And so on his thirteenth birthday, he indeed received 12 Pink Ping Pong balls. His Dad thought nothing of it until next year, when he asked his son "what would you like for your birthday this year son? A new 82-inch Tv for you toilet, or how about a new jet?". His soon blew the hair out of his eyes and said, "Dad, all I want is room full of Pink Ping Pong balls". His dad again agreed but asked "why Pink Ping Pong balls son?". His son replied "I'll tell you when I get them". True to his word when the boy turned 14, he received a whole room full of Pink Ping Pong balls and his Dad asked him "now why did you want them son". But his son replied "I'll tell you next year". Rather reluctantly his Dad agreed. and then he died.

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Roses aren't blue Violets aren't red She was my ex wife But now she's just dead.

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What is both blue and yellow at the same time? Green.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stuck on a desert island together. They eventually succumb to dehydration and heat exhaustion. They lasted five days.

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Two straight men walk into a gay bar. They quickly realize their mistake and cross the street to the tavern where they enjoy a beer and some pretzels.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah's witness.

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Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

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Knock Knock there's a doorbell

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch"

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how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

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An Irishman, an Englishman, and a Scottishman walks into a bar. They had a good time.

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justin bieber is a good singer april fools haha you thought hell had frozen over

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1 out of every 3 relationships someone is cheating, I wonder if it was my wife or my girlfriend

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If life throws you fried chicken your probably black

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse said nothing because it doesn't understand human language.

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what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

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What did the Jews say before they got of the bus? Let's make like a Jewish kid's forskin and get the hell out of here.

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four blondes where on their way to disneyworld they see a sign that say disneyworld:left so they turn around wondering where disneyworld went

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What's worst then a road kill? Multiple road kils.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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What do the Irish do on their birthdays? Eat birthday cake and sing happy birthday

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Jake: Where's Waldo Me: Where? Jake: I don't know

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rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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