If life hands you lemons, take them they taste good

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Do you know why i dont write poems Because i thought that violets were violets OTARTS...WAS...HERE

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Roses are Orange Violets are Green I'm Colorblind..

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A: I accidentally shot my sister with a rifle! B: you don't have a sister? A: exactly

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Your dad got tired while running, so he stopped running.

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What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? 3 bee stings.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i suck at poems nice titz

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Why did the car cross the road? Isn't that what cars do?

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What do you call a panda without a head? Dead.

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Bob: Hey, hey Jim Jim: Yeah? Bob: Remember me. Jim: ...okay?? Bob: Knock knock Jim: Who's there? Bob: I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA FRICKIN REMEMBER ME!!!

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Hickory Dickory Dock My dog died today.

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what is the difference between a a person and a book? people can walk

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David Copperfield (the magician you moron). "I will now perform my greatest act yet!" Everyone applauded as he put the screaming woman (for effects you know) into the first end of the meatgrinder, and surprisingly grinded meat came out the other side! And the woman? She disappeared... forever! *applause* Moral: BRAVO! BRAVO!

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a morman walks into a bar, he buys a 7up.

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A man wearing a 'What Would Jesus Do' bracelet and a livestrong bracelet goes up to a blind kid and rubs his eyes and the kid can see. The kid was was not used to the bright lights and wandered into traffic, was hit by a car and killed instantly.

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A Finnish guy and a Russian guy go into a sauna. The Russian died.

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What do Lebron James and Bill Murray have in common? They are both black basketball players. Except for bill murray

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What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

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A vampire sees a werewolf at a bar, aware of the upcoming brawl between them two, the bartender shoots them both in the head but it's okay because neither of them exist.

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why does stuart own alot of hollister because he is autistic

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What's the capital of Hungary? Thirtsy

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What is worse than braking a fingernail, Learing that a clown raped your entire family

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What is a dyslexic mathematician's favourite song? Angels. [L]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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