What do you get when you cross a man, with Alzheimers disease?

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- Knock, knock - Who's there? - Police - I'm not home!

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What is Lady Gaga's real name? Who the crap knows?

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Why was the little boys mom watching tv in the living room? Better question why is she out of the kitchen.

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How much weight can an ant carry up a mole hill? Ice cream has no bones.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 was a pussy.

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Quinn Grifith Randel lives in Roswell, GA

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad? A: Kill his family

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Dislike this.

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What do you call a muslim in an airport? A muslim going on vacation you racist bastard.

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Q: How do you make a plumber cry? A: Murder his family

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What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

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What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm A nimals

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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What happens if you punch a girl? An equal rights protest.

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he was about to be shot for attempting to assassinate the president.

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Q)A man and a women are hiking on a mountain trail. A bear appears. What do they do? A) Die.

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What do you call someone without legs or arms laying at your front door? Steve

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When life throws you lemons, duck.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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Roes are red Violets are blue I have a potato Let's make pie

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Q.what semtemce is a most used lie by a fourteen year old? A. Yes i agree to the terms of service, and am above the age eighteen.

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Why did the car cross the road? Isn't that what cars do?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, the holocaust didn't actually happen, besides I hate jews

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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