Knock knock. This is a no soliciting residence, and I do not open my door for strangers.

What rhymes with shuck and starts with an f flamethrower

Why did the priest blow a kiss and waved to the little girl? She was his daughter. Why did the daughter's mother call the cops on the priest? Child support

a jewish duck trips over a series of metal corckswcrews and proceeds to die of ADHD the answer is 4

There was a man sinking in quick sand. He looked in the sky and said, "God, if you spare my life, I'll be a great person and believe in you all my life." He died.

Q. A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for a book on suicide? A. The librarian hands the man a book on suicide

My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

Roses are red, Violets are purple, not fucking blue.

What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

4 men walk into a bar. They have fun. ~Yasmin~

Why was a white man surrounded by black men crying? He was in a support group for black men with vitiligo, which destroys skin pigments.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia So do I

What's gayer than Justin Beiber? The guy getting a blowjob from him! Kelvin Yang.

What's worse than swing a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

Two carnivorous dinosaurs get into a fight. Carnage ensues and many baby dinosaur eggs are stomped on, and in the end they both die.

What do you call a man with no legs and no arms on your doorstep? Matt

What did the girl with cancer get for her birthday? Hairspray.

How is a fat girl like a tiny motorcycle? She isn't, and you should be ashamed of yourself for even thinking how she might be.

How many People does it take to change a lightbulb? One

Why couldn't the man lick his elbows? Because it is scientifically proven that over 98% of humans can not lick their elbows.

Q: What happens after you have sex with Michelle Obama? A: You wake up and kill yourself.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

You know whats funny Aids

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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