Why did the little girl lose her necklace? Because she got her head blown off

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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what happened to the man who is standing in the rain? he got wet

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? What are you doing here?

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hello

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Roses are red Violets are actually the color violet, contrary to popular belief.

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What is Mary short for? She has no legs.

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Oh na na not today Oh na na maybe tommrow

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A pirate walks into a doctors office with ship's wheel attached to his crotch. Pirate: "Arrrrrr, do ya accept Kaiser Permanente?" Doctor: "Yes, but there's a $20 co-pay."

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Do you know what my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket? He said; how far do you think I could kick this bucket? Then he died.

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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Q: Why do Indians smell? A: Cause they have noses? Racist.

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Your blood is red. Your bruises are blue. I have a gun. Now drag your carcass away from my residence.

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Q:What did Batman say to Robin just before they got into the Batmobile? A:"Robin get in the Batmobile"

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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How much does the Holo cost? Six million.

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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What's the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? A ghost isn't a dolphin.

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

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Why did the deer cross the road? To cause the car crash that killed my father when i was just 15 years old.

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What did the cookie monster eat? Food

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Why did the fat guy smell bad? He just farted diarrhea.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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