There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

there was a black man his head looked like a peanut

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You like penis, That's what you live up to.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

What do you call an arabic man who sells bombs for a living? A business man.

Why is it so bad that the bus fell off the cliff? All my friends were on it.

What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust No, the Holocaust never even happened, you're an idiot.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Q: How do you keep a blond occupied for an hour? A: You write "flip over" on both sides of a blank piece of paper.

I was reading a book about antigravity, but I put it down because it was boring.

How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

What did the monkey say to the Pope and the Queen? Good evening, Your Holiness. Good evening, Your Majesty,

A man walks into a bar later at night & the bartender says how was your day the man replies "well I found out my mom is a raging crack addict, my grampa has alzheimer's & i have terminal cancer" how was yours the bartender says "I found out im Hitlers lost son".

What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

Whats small yellow and cant swim? A short bus full of autistic children.

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Why did the man fall down? Because he was pushed of a 5 story building

IMMA FIND YO ASS DO!!!!!

why does everyone like this website? ... because every other joke a little baby is dying.

Q: What do you call a guy that is smart? A: A SMART Guy.

What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney Loves you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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