Why did the little boy have to go to the hospital? He dropped his ice cream. Why did he drop his ice cream? He got hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

thumb_up thumb_down -26

"Knock knock" "Who's there?!, who's there?!!!, ya fucking asshole!!!, and quit knockin on my door!, my windows are fine!"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: How much dirt is in a hole 3 by 6 by 2 feet? A: There's no dirt, it's a hole.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink then walks out of the bar ...

thumb_up thumb_down -26

a black guy walks into a black bar

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: how do you drown a blond A: put a mirror at the bottom of a pool

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: Who was shot 50 years ago? A: Abraham Lincoln was shot 50 years ago! (=

thumb_up thumb_down -28

They see me trollin' They hatin'...

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the little boy fall down? Be he had the downs.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

whats worse than a chicken crossing the road 10 dead babies in a bucket

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Eeny meeny miny moe, Catch a piglet by its toe, If it squeals let it go, Or you'll be arrested for animal abuse and receive a heavy fine.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A pterodactyl walks into a bar, bartender says "What'll you have." To which the pterodactyl graciously replies "RAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRR." Because pterodactyl's do not speak English.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What follows 2 days of rain? Statistically more rain, but you'll have to check the weather report to be sure.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A guy walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because he is only 19 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the cancer patient say before they died? I am in so much pain. I love you all

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Whats Funnier than the Holacaust? A: Nothing you asshole!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

roses are red violets are blue i like elephants

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's the best time to go to the dentist? Whenever your appointment is scheduled.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the alien say to the parachute? We're connected

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Tommy got neutered.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

The man walked into the church and stayed there.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops