Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: In order to avoid being mauled by a coyote.

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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Wha did the fireman say when he burnt his finger? Shit.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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Some anti-jokes are funny, some are not!

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

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What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

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What do you call a magic MAAAAAAAAAAAN? A magic man

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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What's the difference between a fat man and a little boy? Despite the fact that they were dropped on two different cities, one was made out of uranium, the other was made out of plutonium.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? No, but considering there has not been a single man to walk on the moon since 1972, it'd be difficult to generate any kind of revenue on this natural satellite.

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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What's black, white, and red all over? A pile of dead nuns.

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Where did Jonathan go when the bombs hit? Everywhere.

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Why did the white woman press charges against the black guy? Because he raped her

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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Q: What cat walks on two feet? A: Garfield Q: What mouse walks on two feet? A: Mickey Mouse Q: What duck walks on two feet? A: Donald Duck? A: No, all ducks you dipshit.

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What did the Fish say to the other Fish? Nothing, fish cant talk.

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what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

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A. What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew: B. Pizza's don't scream when you put them into a oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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