How do you upset Muslims? Kill their leader. Whoops, already did.

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How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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what is the difference of a duck..... it neither wears tie.....

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Your mom smells so bad that she proceeded to take a shower and then didnt smell bad at all.

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What's the biggest difference between the East and West Coast? About 3,000 miles.

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I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia.

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Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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America Votes

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What do you call a black guy eating fried chicken? His name.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

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A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

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A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender immediately tells him to leave as they don't allow pets.

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What's the difference between a red cube and a green cube? Nothing, I'm color blind.

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person 1 - what's big, green and ugly? person 2 - don't know. what's big, green and ugly? person 1 - nothing is

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Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

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What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A car that is driving recklessly and happens to have a Christmas paint scheme.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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A Asian man with a boner runs and hits the wall... He beaks his nose.

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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acuna

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How did the cat die? I just it nine times

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Roses are red, violets are blue That's a fact.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops