26.5% of Americans are obese.

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whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

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What's that smell? Your feces droping in the toilet

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Hey, is that your corvette. No I thought it was yours.

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If Barbie is so popular...why do you have to buy her friends?

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I love my valentine <3 Hes mine no matter what anyone says <3 Cause i love him with all my heart <3

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My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

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A blonde goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "That is a worrying symptom," says the doctor, who immediately recommends the woman for a thorough psychiatric assessment.

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Have you heard of Helen Keller's dog? No. Neither has she

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Knock Knock. No one answered, as the person of residence was not home.

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Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Because he was dead.

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Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

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One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

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knock knock whos there ? Jordan Jordan who ? Jordan Walters

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Two elephants are in a bath tub. The first elephant says to the other elephant, "can you pass the soap?" The second elephant then replied, "No soap, radio."

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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What did the dog say to the cat? I have no idea. I wasn't there.

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Roses are red, Muslims are brown, When I see them swimming, I hope that they drown!

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A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

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Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

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What do you call a boy that fell off a ferry? Extremely unlucky, since one of the other passengers noticed and the captain turned the ferry around, threw him a ladder, and pulled him aboard. Also he died of hepatitis because his mother was too poor to afford condoms, so he was born with it.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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how do you make a joke act like yourself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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