"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't give you time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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An american family is picknicking on the bottom of the ocean. They are eating french fries, big mac's, chicken mc nuggets and drinking coca cola, some slurpies too, all purchased at the local mac donalds near lyndon blvd, in chevy chase near that weird house with the toothless lady that always smiles and then all of a sudden frowns at you, often wearing either a dark green or mint green dress. Spongebob squarepants comes drifting by dead in circular pants and little Sally, their youngest daughter asks a question, which cannot be heard because they're underwater.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by jimmy savile.

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OR SOMETHING! VOLUME ONE SPECIAL ALPHA MAN EDITION: What do you do if you are in the jungle, and surrounded by a tiger, and a jaguar and have only one bullet left in the rifle? You shoot the damn jaguar in its tire, and RIDE THE GODDAMN TIGER BACK HOME! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! THE FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD R*PIST!(Yes I also wrote the original kay?)

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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A boy spelled the word "banana" wrong on a spelling test... Points were deducted.

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Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

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what happened to the boy who got hit by a truck he went to the hospitel

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Q: How many different Pokèmon are there? A: Pokèmon aren't real.

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A kid walks into a bar. He leaves wasted.

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What do you call a man with an arrow to the knee? An ambulance because he's got a serious leg injury right there.

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A kid had wild unprotected sex. He didn't get an STD or enpregnate the girl.

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what do you do when mrs curaba gets heated through a fridge at her so she can cool down

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What goes round and knocks on windows? A paedophile.

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Q: What did the pedestrian say to the bus driver that hit him? A: Nothing, he died.

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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How much do polar bears weigh? Between 800 and 1600 pounds

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Q: If two lesbians are in a relationship, who makes the sandwiches? A: They both do.

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What did the pineapple say to the orange? Nothing; Neither a pineapple nor an orange contains the necessary muscles to produce speech.

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what do mexicans and grass have in common You find them both in your front yard

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A muslim is working quietly in his 3rd floor apartment complex bedroom. ~~~~ He's been working on high explosives for 8 months now, preparing to kill innocent people.

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I <3 Hitler

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Where does a successful black person live? Neverland.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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