What's long, hard, and full of seamen... A Submarine

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What did the dad say when the irresponsible goth problem child asked for a gun Yes

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Why couldn't the boy turn around in the hallway? Becasue he had a javelin through his head

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Why did the Jewish girl fall off the swing? Because Amon Goeth shot her in the head from his balcony with his rifle. --Amon Goeth's friend

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What do you call a deer with no legs? Legs in the City

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Austin do your class work. Quit looking at anti-jokes. Yes you the one that goes to RRHS.

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A man removed Stephen Hawkings hand off his keyboard, what did Stephen say to the man? Nothing his hand isnt on the keyboard.

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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What do black people eat? Food.

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What did the mentally challenged kid get on his test? Drool

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What happens when three drunk men are driving 80 miles off of a cliff. They all die on impact from the great fall and their family's mourn over their deaths for years to come.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We are not familiar with the specific circumstances, therefore its difficult to determine exactly why.

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what does a beer and a priest have in common? They both are cold refreshing beverages, except for the priest.

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Oh no my baby is dead. Ha.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Everything's brown Who shit on my flowers

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A squirrel is about to steal the eggs of a sparrow when the sparrow suddenly says, "Stop! I will do anything if you would spare my eggs!" The squirrel has no capacity to reason and so steals the eggs anyway. The sparrow is devastated.

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Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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Roses are red Violets are FUCKING VIOLET NOT FUCKING BLUE

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Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

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B==========D-------------------------- im pissin man! god!

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When life gives you lemons, you go to a therapist and seek help because your dementia has progressed to the point that you are seeing and feeling illusions.

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how do demolish a building alkekwhakbar

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? a new bike.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops