What's short, green, and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Q.whats the difference between a women's argument and a knife A. a knife has a point

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So a man walks into a bar… and gets a bad bruise and a big bump.

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My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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Steve Jobs is alive.

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Why did the sky turn gray? Yes because she thought it meant a quarterback.

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Man hears son masturbating in room. The dad enters the room and tells him "Son if you keep jacking off you will go blind". The boy replies "Dad I"m over here".

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What did the clock say to the book? I have no batteries.

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a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

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Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

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i am not a pothead!!! the only time ive evr been high was springbreak last year!!! mm hmm... wat were u doin over spring break to get high? i had jaw surgery and the doctor had me on tons of painkillers

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Why did the baby cross the road? 'cause i kicked it.

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A woman walks into a bar She is raped.

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Why aren't anti jokes funny? Idk. Watermelon in your pants, you're adopted.

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Q: What do you call a real joke on anti joke A: Someone obviously don't understand the concept of this website

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

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I will slap myself once for every like this joke gets!

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Why did the man laugh? Because humans laugh when they hear a joke.

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A man walked into a bar. He got a concussion and couldn't see strait for days.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To collect it's AIDS medication.

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why can't James swim at 2010 summer ? because james died at 2009

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A guy walks into a bra. The woman screams and calls 991.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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