What did the zombie eat for breakfast? You. You fell a-sleep

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why did Sarah fall of the swing... she had no arms Knock Knock.... Whos there .... Not Sarah

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What's long, hard, and full of seamen... A Submarine

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at him.

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what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

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Did you hear about the young couple that confused K-Y jelly with window caulking? All their windows fell out.

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what's worse than being attacked by a giant ant? being attacked by two giant ants

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What do you call a man with no legs, and one arm? Whatever his name happens to be.

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old spice body spay is so powerfull it can block BO for 16 hours. its so powerfull it can turn of the sun, but then it gets to cold, so it makes another sun........DOUBLE SUN POWWWWWEEEERRRRRRR!!!

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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An American, an English and a Scottish got in the bar and ordered the same drink. After that they left.

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Whats worse than 1 bee sting? - 2 Whats worse than 2 bee stings? - Holocaust Whats worse than the Holocaust? - 3 bee stings Now, if you are smart, you would notice that no one really alive today was in the Holocaust, therefore you can not make an accurate comparison between bee stings and the millions of Jews being killed. -SPG

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What did the tiger say to the jellyfish? Nothing; tigers can't talk. And if they could the chances of a tiger meeting a jellyfish would be very slim.

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why is six afraid of seven? because six is a rapist

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was a recovering alcoholic who recently relapsed and drove his car through his garage. He took his anger out on his wife and kids. His wife kicked him out and filed for divorce. Conveniently, the liquor store is across the street.

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What happened to the man who ate a piece of pizza after doing a lot of sit ups, while rubbing the belly of a fat man, and feeding his baby at the same time? He Lived

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Neither does the chicken. (you're supposed to laugh...)

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Why did the girl scream in terror? Because her parents are being murdered.

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Mommy, Mommy, I don't like Daddy! Well leave him on the side of the plate and eat your peas instead!

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As we had been trying for some months now, I called my wife to ask her the result of her pregnancy test. A stranger answered and promptly told me she was killed in a car crash.

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feminists.

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did you hear the one about the gay child molester?

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What do you get when you cross an own and a bungee cord? My ass

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Duh!!!."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops