What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Mary had a little lamb, its heart was black as coal, it crept into her room one night and ate her f***ing soul

thumb_up thumb_down -24

why do german shower have eleven holes? jews have 10 fingers

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why was six afraid of seven? Six wasn't. He listens in on women's self defense classes and can deliver a kick to the crotch so hard that it will create for you a new vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you think 3 black men want when the come and knock on your car window? They just want directions.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road? Because they are extinct and roads did not exist when they were alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A woman walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Yes ma'am?". She orders a gin and tonic, but the bartender had gave her two without realising, and so she pays for one only. She starts to contemplate whether to tell the bartender about his error or to just leave it and have a free glass of gin and tonic. However as she is a christian, gluttony is a sin, and she already had enough to drink today. However, she feels the need to have a relaxing drink today, because as she was on her job as a receptionist, when a customer tripped on the last step of the stairs behind her and broke his neck, dying instantly, which deeply saddened her. This later led her to indulge on 3 glasses of red wine in the staff room. She finally concludes after a few moments pondering, to not tell the bartender about his error, and pampered herself with two relaxing glasses of gin and tonic. Her dead, mutilated body was later found in the rubble of a car after a head-on collision with a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

thumb_up thumb_down -24

So Nero, what the fuck are you doing? XD

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the little boy stick a fork in the electrical socket? Because he wanted to escape his abusive stepfather

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I never drink liquor alone... except for when I'm alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Roses are red, Here's something new. Violets are violet, Not f***ing blue.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

hohifooncuiohicvsdhn ioshd

thumb_up thumb_down -26

You the same as before? I am being a bit overly cautious I admit that, I would call you, the problem is that while you are either pretty good at pretending to be innocent and all, or actually pretty down to earth, I mean I would probably applaud you for tricking me into believing you are pretty sweet before, but I got my wife and her family to take care off now, its not quite the same getting stabbed in the back anymore,

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the orphan get for his birthday? Shit on.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

how many cucumbers dos it take to change a light bulb? none. cucumbers cant change light bulbs. dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what did john boner say to the hor that was jewing his laundry want to sex my motherss twat?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Tina: Mom, would you love me if I was straight Mom: Yes Tina: Would you love me if I was gay Mom: Yes Tina: Would you love me if I was Bi Mom: No Tina: Why not Mom: Because that's selfish!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his farmer was abusive.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A blond is walking down the street when she is suddenly mugged and raped. She reports her attacker but he is never found.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Hi I am Michael Jackson... you have any young boys? My park is open :), the "nude dark caverns" can be scary, but I accompany them all, so relax. Moral: LEAVE MJ ALONE! ;(

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you call it when a black guy is talking to a white guy? A conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops