What does the lifeguard do on his free time? Ejaculate.

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Joker: Why so serious Man: My mom and dad just got hit by a car, and you just stabbed my friend in the face with a pencil. Joker: Oh well im sorry to hear that.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I am blind.

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What's green, has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.

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What do you call a black man in a suit and tie? Presumably affluent

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Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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What's the only think duct tape can't fix? Your parents divorce.

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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A blonde rubs a lamp hoping to find a genie that will grant her 3 wishes. It didn't happen.

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind.

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Black people having a Job.

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What makes men cry? The realization that humanity is completely pointless in the infinitely expanding universe and thus any action to try and improve human life is also a complete farce.

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What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

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I saw a coin one day but never picked it up. It was still there the next day and then the day after that when it was still there I saw a girl being sick on it...

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for his birthday? A bike

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yo momma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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What's worse than having embaracing parents? A: they are of the same sex

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Why is purple the best color. Cuz icecream has no bones

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What do you call a doctor whos black A doctor

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What did the Police Officer do after he made a positive identification of a Prostitute? He proceeded to pay her in cash for sexual favors because prostitution is legal in the state of Nevada

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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