What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? 9/11

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What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

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A: u wanna die? B: does anyone really wanna die, i mean logistically, un-less u are suicidal, why would you wanna die? A: I do wanna die. B: ur a freak and you should consider getting help person A never got help, on his way to getting help at a certified physician he got hit by a bus, his body can be found at the intersection of church ave. and flatbush. And i would say rest in piece but cars drive over him daily, and thats not to peaceful

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1: What do you call your car door when it's opened slightly? 2: I don't know. What? 1: Ajar! 2: A jar? 1: No. Ajar. 2: But it's a door. 1: Just forget it.

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Why did the TV fall of a cliff? Because a nice man was donating it to the homeless shelter which hangs over a cliff. The man placed the TV in the back room on the floor. There was a weak spot on the floor and when the fattest homeless person walked over the floor, the floor broke which was a HUGE inconvenience because he TV and the fat man fell through the floor and over the cliff, luckily the TV was plugged in so it was hanging by the cord but an old lady with Alzheimer's forgot that there was a hole in the floor and unplugged the TV so she could clean the switches. In the end the TV fell off the cliff.

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I used to work as a human cannonball. I thought I was going to get fired, however during one performance the trajectory was miscalculated and I ended up severely damaging my spinal cord. I now work from home as a IT consultant. It's depressing.

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A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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Why did the man give money to a drug dealer? He lost a bet.

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why did the kid drop his sandwich? his hand was cut off

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

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What do you call a hairy pussy? A cat.

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What does it take to write a good joke? A punchline

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What do you get when you cross a turkey with a turtle? A bunch of nosy ass people wondering wtf you're doing.

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What did cancer get for Christmas? Another 6 year old boy

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What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

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What's old and baggy? An old bag.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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If Irishmen didn't walk out of bars, they would collect and eventually fill the bars of the world and would die given the bars could not support them.

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Do you know why one side of the V formation that geese fly in is longer than the other? Because there's more geese on that side.

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why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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What was so special about Anna Frank's diary? Nothing. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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A Terrorist walks into an airport. - He then blows himself up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops