why does little Lucy have no friends? because she is in a wheelchair

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How do you get dislikes on anti-joke.com? You can dislike your own post from several different IP addresses.

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Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

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Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first baby. Why did the third baby fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What do you call a book of notes? A notebook.

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Knock Knock Who's there The Holocaust!

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What do you call Helena… A Shady palm tree

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What do you call a black pope? Catholic.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

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How did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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Why did Rudolph poop while flying over Chicago? Actually, he had to go since trip started, and that's just where it happened to land.

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What would George Washington be doing if he was alive today? Scratching and screaming at the bottom of his coffin.

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Why are lizards broke? Because they run around the desert with no money...

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Why was the black man in prison? He was wrongly accused of a felony and the jury by whom he was tried was largely racist.

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knock knock whose there open the door open the door who just open the door so i can come inside

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What would you call Kenny Dalgleish if he was black? Mr Dalgleish in a formal setting, Kenny in an informal one.

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People with Alzheimers will not remember this joke

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I'm Batman.

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So my teacher came upto me, and says "At the end of this ruler is a idiot" so I said "Which end?" I got detention.

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Why cant the guy drink his beer Because he hasnt opened it yet

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut you racist bastard

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't handle the stress and pressure of being a duck so it committed suicide by crossing a road and therefor being run over by a car.

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Q: what did the emo girl use to check her email? A: A computer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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