Q. What did the black lawyer say to the rabbi? A. We're both highly educated professionals.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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Have you seen Steve Wonder's house? No. It's okay, neither has he.

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You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

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Roses are Purple Chickens are gray I'm color blind You have cancer I'll see you in hell Ba bye now

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Three jews walk into a bar. The bar is hosting a bar mitzvah.

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according to the ewspickle, it is Dumbledore's favorite food.

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis.

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A homeless man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What will it be?" The homeless man says, "Nothing. I have no money."

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Why couldn't the asian man drive? He had no arms.

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why was 7 afraid of 8, cause 8,9,10

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whitney housten was supposed to sing at my funeral... but i dont think thats gonna happen. ;(

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A boy spilt his milk on the floor, and then cleaned it up before his mum got home.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

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Knock Knock Who's There? The I.R.S.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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how do you wake up lady gaga you poke her face

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A gay man walks into McDonald's. McDonald's serves people of all sexualities.

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What did the black kid get on his report card? Math: C- English: D+ Social Studies: C+ Gym:A+ Science: D- N.P.P.

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How many ecotards does it take to change a light globe? Ve Vill Change all ze light globes to use;less grey vuns and you vill luv it or else ve vill kill you to save ze planet

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A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy jump off a bridge. Who hits the ground first? It doesn't matter. They are all going to die.

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What's woman spelled backwards? Sandwich-maker.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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