Throw your crépe right into an ocean Where an octopus can get it in all the commotion With the crépe and the ocean and the oc-to-pus

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how do you crash a party? You dont because that would be rude.

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Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

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How many women does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Usually just one, and a ladder.

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Knock knock Who's there Police, there's been an accident Oh really? Know i'm actually a serial rapist and i have a gun so open up

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Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

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Why would you call a child douche bag? Cause they're sterile

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How do you make a unicorn? Jab a stick through a pink horse and name it Liam

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Dollar ice tea... I drink that Supa hot fire... i spit that Two and a half men................... I watch that

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EVAN RAMSEY -CAD CLASS!

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Only people of high intelligence can laugh at anti jokes.

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What did the fat girl use on Wii Fit? Cheat Codes.

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What did the boy with asthma say to his friend I can't breath

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Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber where walking in New York . They both get ice cream... then bieber gets hit by a bus.

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How do you kill Chuck Norris? Shoot him in the face.

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A bear walks into a bar, and says "I'd like a gin... and tonic." The bartender says "AAAAHHH! A BEAR!!!" and calls animal control. Later after the beast has been tranquilized and carted away, he rationalizes having heard the bear speak as trauma-induced hallucination.

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Why did the gay guy come out of the closet? He finally found the shirt he was looking for

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If Apple made a house, would it have Windows?

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what happen to the popo who got arrested? he told himself that he had the right to remain silent

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Whats blue, green and red, and runs trough the strees each sunday? ...What? I have no idea, I was hoping you did.

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Not at all Nero, if humanity itself where better, you would never have had that pain you rather than carry seems to be stuck to you, what you call your armor, sounds more like a cage to me, it is no wonder that you lose faith in those that drag you down while you find peace and hope within yourself by helping them. I believe you got every right to lose hope in humanity at times, in my eyes you have always been much greater than them, you just seem to believe that if you fail at helping others, then you have failed yourself, remember that there are too many people that surrender in this world, that do not want to be helped back on their own feet rather than to be "shown the only way", you said it yourself, monkey see, monkey do is easy, too easy, and you never take the easy way. I am sorry if I copy your methods too much, it might seem to others as if you are chatting with yourself, which is just crazy, insane. silly, lets just say again that you just got a admirer in me, it cant be helped. Does this bother you?

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A pilot walks into a bar just before his last flight of the day. "Give me a stiff one to get through this last flight, I've had a long day," the pilot tells the bartender. The bartender promptly refuses the pilot service and kicks him out of the bar, since operating an aircraft under the influences of alcohol would at least constitute gross negligence and at worst, murder.

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Why do rabbits have such a reputation for rampant reproduction? Sex feels extra good for rabbits.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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