Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is the difference between a seal and an armadillo? They are both aquatic animals, except for the armadillo.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven raped and murdered eight's family.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Your dad is so gay that he payed for a male prostitute to have sex and now your family is in ruins.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call two men kissing? Gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

knock knock? who's there.......... MEEEE :D hehe

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the bank teller say to Santa Claus? May I help you?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What can you use a broken watch for? A compass.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the white teen say to the black man? Sup nigga. What then followed? A savage beating at which the teen did not survive.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the boy with cancer cross the road? He was hoping to get hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is a six letter word for cactus? Cactus

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walk briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's better than seeing a Detroit Lions game? Not being in Detroit.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Women don't need an education. The only book they need is a recipe book.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Jerry Sandusky appeal his conviction? Because the judge wrongly considered inadmissible evidence.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are yellow, violets are grey, I'm colorblind

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was the boy named Bethel? He had horrible parents that wanted him to live a life of social poverty.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the Chicken Cross the road? Because it did...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Jonathan choose to watch something else other than Geordie Shore? Jonathan is intellectual.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin inside a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Obamacare

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops