- Anti Joke

Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

finding out that when you had sex with that prostitute, you severely injured your urethra tube and you cannot create urine or spurm.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to my house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

What do you call a bloody Jewish guy nailed to a piece of wood. Jesus

What is worse than finding your parents dead? You being charged for the crime.

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

An Asian girl is playing with a rubber band. She accidentally slings it into her eye, cries, and receives immediate attention from her mother.

Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

What can move people but not rocks.. Poop

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What is the best way to kill Kony? Shoot him in the head.

Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

what happened to the man that no one cares about? No one cares

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Bob

How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

Have you seen Whitney Houston's new house? Neither has she.

Why couldn't the boy talk? He drowned.

Q: What do you call the first black guy who swam in the ocean? A: Triangle.

what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

Why did the boy ask his dad for a phone? Because he had his head stuck up a sheeps bum

Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a classified space mission for N.A.S.A.

This is an anti-anti-joke.

what happend when the AntiJoke Crossed the road? It pooped in the ... HIT BY A REFRIGERATOR.