- Anti Joke

what did sandy say to mr krabs nothing squirles are not smart enough to make a air tank and go under water

Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? Because she was a mother catering her child's sporting event.

yo mama so fat she decided to go on a diet :)

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey, I just met you

"My grandmother has AIDS. They are really nice ladies." -joke by comedian Daniel Cupps

Click here to end the world.

How do you fit a whale into a truck bed? You can't, whales live in the ocean.

What's worse than having cancer? Two people having cancer

Why would it matter if they believed such a thing? Are you trying to screw me over? You know that I am very competent at making myself seem like a total jackass myself right? You got a point, it is not my role to help others in life, I just guess I enjoy repairing others, it sure is a hell lot easier than repairing myself, I just enjoy repairing things I can repair I suppose, now using them as my henchmen that's just worthless. The way I see it, people that wage wars, control others, indoctrinate them, and/or accumulate great sums of wealth to the point where, well its pointless, are all just overcompensating, trying to make up for something that they cannot repair within themselves. It is only natural, I mean we humans, if we lack something, we get a lot more of something else. Thanks, you are right about that whole "soul incident" as I call it, it is strange how people often seem to know each other a lot better than they know themselves, I mean I could at any time choose to quit, to become like others, to surrender my individuality, to "give up my soul" or rather the essence of what makes us unique. But you know, ill rather die than live as a servant for a society many would say I never truly learned to understand. Truth is, I will never accept it, if true strength stops arriving from within, its because people choose to seek it from others, the day I require the approval of others in order to sustain myself, ill off myself, that's not a real definition of existence as far as my opinion goes. I mean what are we worth to ourselves, if we become beings that base our so called value on what others think about us? We should focus on becoming those that spread joy and inspire others, rather than to seek inspiration and joy from others. Why? Because its a win win scenario, you cannot spread joy if you got none, you cannot inspire others if we have no inspiration, I guess you can fake it, sometimes until it becomes real, but that is mental-ism and not ideology (not that they are complete opposites, and if they are not opposites, they can work as a synergy) I guess I had forgotten about that, tell yourself that you are great enough, and you become great, excuse me, I am dead tired, its been hours, say, how are you doing?

A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ouch!" Later that day, the man's daughter takes him to the doctor because he's acting strangely. The doctor gives him an MRI and the daughter is told that her father sustained severe brain damage from the injury. Now the daughter has to juggle taking care of her father, taking care of a child she bore from a drunken one-night stand, and recovering from her meth addiction at a rehab facility, all while making minimum wage at her dead end job. Eventually she hangs herself, leaving her father and child to slowly die on their own.

I was at work today and whilst staring at my beautiful colleague I realised how hard it had got. So I quit

What is a life without options.... an optionless life

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

what did sandy say to mr krabs nothing squirles are not smart enough to make a air tank and go under water

— Knock knock. — Who's there? — Funny. — Funny who? — A funny joke.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead..

The awkward moment when something of quite awkwardness occurs.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

why did the pancake eat a spanish holiday? Because a plane crashed into his condominium

What do 10 dead babies in a blender sound like? Idk because I was too busy masturbating.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

You know what makes no cents? 100 cents because 100 cents make a dollar.

hello juliano and guss. having fun?

Why did? Yes

When the tsunami hit in 2004, christians worldwide prayed for the victims. it didnt help

Women outside of the kitchen.