Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, chickens aren't capable of crossing roads without being involved in a car accident.

roses are red violet are blue what are you gonna do when chuck norris find you

Why do mexicans like burritos? Because they taste good.

What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

What did the black man say to the fat Irish lady? Hi.

Have you noticed when you see geese flying and they're in a V pattern, often one side will be longer than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side.

How do you teach an asian baby to read? Enroll him in a good pre-school and practice regularly.

Hey, austin, what are you doing?

?"i'm so turned on right now." - horny light bulb

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil armstrong Neil armstrong walks on the moon...Michael Jackson molests little boys

what's worse than stubbing your toe on cement being a Jew during the holcaust

Why can't you get a bull to talk? Because it felt like beating the shit out of you and mounting you.

A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

What is the sun's favorite day of the week? The sun is a mass of incadescent gas and cannot feel emotions; therefore, it cannot have a favorite day of the week.

Why did the woman cross the road? To welcome the new neighbors.

What do you call a child with a peg leg, and eye patch, and no hand? Names

Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? *snicker* F*ck a duck.

Little Johnny asks his teacher "What's 23 times 3?" She yelled, "Be quiet, Johnny, and grow up!"

An anorexic women walks into McDonalds

A Muslim walks into a bar He immediatley turns around and leaves as his religious beliefs forbid consumption of alcoholic beverages.

1)Did you hear about the sick juggler? 2)No... 1) He just couldn't stop throwing up!!!! 2)Oh no!! Is he ok?? 1)He's dead. 2)HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA c&h

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

A duck walks into a bar. In the middle of writing this joke I realized that there were already jokes like this so I stopped writing this one.

I wrote a funny joke.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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