What do you call a guy who accidentally cut off his hand in a blender? Stupid.

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Which is the smallest? A. Jupiter B. Whale C. Cow D. Bracelet Answer: D

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Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised that they are in the presence of a celebrity.

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The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

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What do you call Bilbo Baggins when you use him for pleasure? Dildo Baggins

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Steve Jobs Died today. So did 56 million other people.

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Why did John McCain lose the election? He did not get as many votes as Barack Obama.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Plants are green because of the high levels of mitochondria in their cells.

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Why did a little kid have a long face Because his face was stretched out by a truck wheel

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There is a black man and a Mexican in a car. Who's driving? The driver.

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What's Black,White and red all over? A black person with a skin disease on her period.

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A man walks into a bar, looks around, and reveals an AK-47 assault rifle he had been concealing beneath his trenchcoat. He then turns to his left and fires repeated shots around the bar, to the surprise and fear of many. Then he shoots himself. The death total is estimated at 9, including the shooter, while the total injured is around 22.

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. A number is a mathematical object used to count and measure.It is not a living thing and therefore does not possess thoughts and feelings.

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Your mama's so fat, she can't even find clothes that fit her well.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

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Why did the chcicken cross the road? To get to the other side nl

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im in stttttttttiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttttccccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssss

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Why didnt jerry trip over a slug? Because jerry is an arabian and the atmosphere in arabi is to hot for a slug.

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I've got ninety-nine problems, all of them very diverse and possibly involving women.

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Why did the mailman say hi to you? He was trying to be friendly

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Your momma so fat.... She's at risk of cardiovascular disease. You should take her to a nutritionist.

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Have you ever seen that gay clown in asda.

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What do you call a man with one ear? A one-eared man.

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Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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