A coach walks into the team dressing room at halftime; his team is down 42-0. He screams at the players, "You guys are playing like a bunch of grannies. No offense"

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What do you call a deer with no eye? NO IDEAR!

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I'd feel bad for some skinny guy who lived in a very obese family and only got hand me downs.

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whats the difference between virgin and a porn star?? A virgin hasn't got aids.

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Why was the comedian so funny? Because that's his job, and if he wasn't funny he would have to become a hobo.

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a man walks into a bar and has a drink james

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why did the chicken cross the road? no one knows because it got hit by a bus.

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Your mom is such a slut that your dad didn't even ask her if you were his biological child and raised you as if you were, regardless of what the dna results may suggest.

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Vancouver Canucks Hater: What time is? Another Vancouver Canucks Hater: 6 past Luongo

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Why do girls think they deserve the very best? Because if an ugly girl in twilight can find a hunky vampire and ripped werewolf why can't they. And let's not forget those crappy Disney princess movies.

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Hahahahaha your nan had HIV and died.lol

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A guy walks into the bar and orders a coke with some ice and some peanuts. It cost a total of $4.00 plus tax. He gave the bartender $5.00 and told him to keep the change. He drank the soda pop and burped loudly and left the bar and forgot his peanuts.

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Q. What did the buddhist monk say to the hotdog vendor? A. "I'd like a hotdog, please."

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roses are red, violates are blue, you left me for David, I am about to kill you *bam* *bam**bam*

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Q: Why did the purple cantalope eat the curtains at midnight? A: Sassafrass.

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What's the difference between a tigar and a shark? One's a land mammal.

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Fire is red Water is blue Earth is brown Air is transparent

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Why did they use the phone as a football? Because it was a phone-ball.

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John has 58 candy bars. He eats 40, what does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

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Jake was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. His wife looks down and sees a scale.

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How many kleptomaniacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. Why? A. To get to the other side. A. Knock, Knock. B. Who's there? A. The chicken.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender!

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Nope, but yeah Felix looks a lot like Mickey Mouse, I think, nah it was Oswald the Lucky rabbit I believe, and he used to get his ass kicked by... Damn, what`s the name of the fat cat that beat up Mickey in steamboat willie?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops