Why did the chicken cross the road? Rocky was chasing him

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knock knock who's there? faith

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a man walks into a bar, he is injured severely and needs medical attention stat, he is rushed to the hospital where he dies that evening

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Two gorillas swing into a bar and are promptly escorted out because the gorillas are alcoholics.

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Roses are red Violets are blue God makes things beautiful... What happened to you

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OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

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Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

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How many easily offended people does it take to change a light bulb? Shut up, that's not funny!

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How did the magician make it look like there are 2 books on the table? By putting 2 books on the table

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An owl and a squirrel were sitting on a tree branch. An acorn fell on the squirrel's head and surprised, the owl moved its head 3.276 degrees to the right. The squirrel apologized for the inconvenience, but the owl would not listen, so flew off to buy a ferry to help children with terminal illnesses get to school.

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A boy orders a sandwich at a restaurant. He then questions the cashier about it. Boy: Excuse me, Why is my sandwich so bad? Cashier: Sorry, none of our women cooks were in today.

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What happened when the high school student had intercourse with his history teacher? orgasmic noises.

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Why did the man have no friends? He stabbed an innocent woman and is now rotting in prison.

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A man walks into a bar The bar now has a hole in it.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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Why did the baby fall down from the tree? It was dead.

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360 NO SCOPE

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Did you hear about the deaf kid? He didn't.

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If 3 days ago was yesterday and today is Friday, how many legs does 7 dogs, 3 ducks, and 2 chickens have if the answer was red? Okay, not to sound rude but I'm gonna take a wild guess and say.....yo mama is so fat when she read this joke she ate the whole bucket of popcorn and didn't even share.

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Why did the butcher have blood on his hands? He murdered his daughter.

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Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

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Why couldn't the black baby swim? Babies do not posses the muscular capacity nor technique to enable them to properly swim.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? gang rape

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A black guy and a white guy jump out of a tree, who hits the ground first? They both hit at the same time while sustaining minor injuries.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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