Who would win in a chess duel between Ender Wiggin and Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl will calculate the optimal path to move his pieces. Ender Wiggin will calculate the optimal path to kill the queen, so all the other pieces just sort of fall down.

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A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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What do a bike and a human have in common they are both objects

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Why didn't the hispanic muslim woman vote for Donald Trump in the 2016 primaries? Because she lives in Connecticut where the primaries have not yet taken place.

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Derp

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what do you tell a woman with one black eye? "sorry about that wild ball, you played a fantastic softball game otherwise"

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Everything I did, Was just a mistake like you.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

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How much cocain did Charlie sheen do? Enough to kill 2 and a half men

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whats worse than drinking bad milk? tea bagging a bear trap

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Say this to someone: On a scale from one to ten, what is your favorite color?

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave Smith.

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A blonde is elected President of the United States. Half way through her inauguration speech, she forgets how to read.

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Mr. T watched "the notebook"

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a man walks into a bar, he is injured severely and needs medical attention stat, he is rushed to the hospital where he dies that evening

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Q.) How do you make a whore blush? A.) Tell her she has pretty eyes.

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So Helen Keller walks into a bar...

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Printing billions of counterfeit dollars...in ones.

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black chicken. kfc

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if a man is alone in the forest, and there are no women around to hear him...........is he still wrong?

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What do you call an asian with a small penis? Whatever his name happens to be.

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What did the black person use to peel a banana? His hands.

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Jayden Eccles

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Q )Why did the black man shoot the white man? A )The black man had been walking home from his weekly gospel service at the local church when suddenly the criminal had stopped him in his tracks. In a desperate attempt to save himself he seized the gun from the white man and shot him in the leg in order to defend himself. He survived.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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