What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

Q: Why does the man smell so bad? A: He doesn't shower

A little boy uses a horrible curse against his classmate. The classmate is so angry he tells the teacher. The teacher is so astounded at the little boy's use of language he sends him to the principal. When the principal hears of the foul language he's so ashamed he calls the police. The police can't believe the little boy said such a bad word, they think he deserves to go to court. The court dates are set up. When the Judge hears of the hate words he can think of no other worthy punishment except prison until he turns 21. After the kid is let out he heads for the bar across town where all the ex-prisoners go. He orders up a drink, bartender asks "What'd you do?". The kid explains the curse to the bartender. The barkeep becomes so upset that he kicks the kid out of the bar. While crossing the street to go to another bar he gets hit by a truck. Whats the moral of the story? Look both ways before crossing the street....

How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

Three guys walk into a bar.....The fourth one ducks...

Andy Carrol

What would a prostitute do if she was given a million dollars? She would probably diversify her portfolio. First, she would pay her rent. She would buy some groceries and a present for her mother. She would then invest it in stocks and low-yield bonds. She would they buy a vehicle. This win might not affect her continuance in her job.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

A blonde, ginger, and brunette took the SAT. They all performed successfully and were admitted into their colleges of choice.

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

What did the kid with cancer get for christmas? Hope.

How are a cow and a wall the same? They both go "moo". Except for the wall.

Doctor Doctor I think I'm a dog. Sit down on the couch and tell me about it. Ok.

What has 3 legs? An abnormal human.

look under under where under under where. under the couch

Whats worse than losing your entire family in a car accident? Luikimia

NO ONE LIKES RANGAS

What is worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings What is worse than 2 bee stings? The Holocaust What is worse than the Holocaust? 3 bee stings

Yesterday i had a conversation with my husband. I asked him if he slept with another women. He said yes

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

Q: Who showed up at the dead soldier's funeral? A The Westboro Baptist Church...

Tough crowd tonight...

How many light bulbs? 1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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