Your momma went to the gym, because she is fat.

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What was wrong with the tomato? Nothing.

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Your mother is so fat she has made a concerted effort to loose weight and lead a healthier lifestyle

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Knock Knock Who's there? You had purchase an item online through Amazon.com, I'm the delivery guy. You had purchase an item online through Amazon.com, I'm the delivery guy, who?

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Why couldn't Timmy ride a bicycle? Because Timmy was a goldfish

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Gun Control

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Why did Susan fall out a tree? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan

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Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

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Q: What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: A funeral.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a rapist

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Knock knock. Who's there? The interrupting doctor. The inter-- --You have cancer.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Bill Bill Who? Builder

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what will you do if you become a ruler of the world? Waking up, its just a dream GET REAL!

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what do the Holocaust and Jeff Dunham have in common? they're both hilarious

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What is brown and sticky? Syrup.

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What do you call a man in a pool with no arms and legs? Bob

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer Roses are red

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Why did the chickens leave McDonalds? Because they refused to have their nuggets deep fried (Wyndellberg)

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What is big, grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

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Why did the fortune cookie taste bad? I forgot to take the wrapper off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops