how do you get a happy man to stop smiling? hit him in the face repeatedly untill he is dead.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no hands. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not sally.

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What did the hungry man do? He ate.

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Q:What's better than getting 500 million dollars A:Nothing

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Suicide Johnny and the Go Kill Yourselves

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Q: What was Steve Jobs' last words before he died? A: I Think i might die.

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Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

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What do you call a black man walking home in the dark after a long day at work? His name you racist

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Mormons having fun.

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who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

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There was Jew, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a Mexican guy at the store. The store was called Walmart.

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How are trees and friends alike? They are both subject to fall when struck with an axe.

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I had friends on the Death Star.

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why did the small boy drop his ice cream ? because he has no hands

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Wiggle wiggle wiggle yeah

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Once there was a frog. My parents died.

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A black person walks out of KFC

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"i see", said the blind man ... ...to his deaf wife... ...while his crippled children jumped for joy....

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When a Jew with a boner walks into a wall what hits first? It really depends weather his arm or leg is sticking out when he hits the wall. When studying trejectory sciences, you will find out that it will be nearly a 95% chance that his foot will in fact hit the wall first.

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Why did little Billy fall off his bike? Anwser: because a refridgator hit him.

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how did i know i had a new puppy?...... i found out when i was scraping it off my truck tire

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Best joke: Okay so I got a joke for ya but it is pretty long so bare with me please. First off, you must have heard a knock knock joke before and you must have a huge sense of humor. So this guy walks into a bar and orders fried chicken wings with hot fudge and vinilla drizzled all over it with a cherry topping. The bartender says, "We don't have that." The guy thinks of anything else he'd like and says, "How about a bucket of turkey and jalapeños?" The bartender looks puzzled and once again says, "This is a bar..." The guy is now paranoid and says, "Fine, I'll just have a thick, juicy, chicken thigh but please remove any excess skin on it, it's unhealthy and I'm on a diet." The bartender slowly removes his apron and walks out of the bar shouting, "I QUIT!" The guy sits there on the barstool laughing as a lady bartender comes to him. "So sorry sir, what would you like? From our bar that we have available?" The guy stares at her, squinting. "By any chance do you know if you have the punch line to this 'joke' because I sure dont." Slowly the woman removes her apron and walks out of the bar. The guy grins, walks out, and says, "job well done today. Where to tomorrow?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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