A programmer, and engineer and an accountant meet up for an after work drink. Afterwards they go home to their separate apartments and think how socially inadequate they are.

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Straight man: Gays can't have babies so they shouldn't be allowed to have sex. Gay man: But you got a vasectomy last year, so you can't make babies either. The straight man sees the irony, realizes how judgmental he has been and never has sex again because he maintains his opinion that gays shouldn't have sex.

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Which hockey player has scored the monst goals of all time? He-Shoot-Si Scores

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When an intellectual was told by someone, "Your beard is now coming in," he went to the rear entrance and waited for it. Another intellectual asked what he was doing. Once he heard the whole story, he said: "I'm not surprised that people say we lack common sense. How do you know that it's not coming in by the other gate?"

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I hope you shut the others down before you called me by my name, otherwise this will convo will get fairly short.

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People say that shit don't stink But shit does stink It stinks like shit!

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Whats long hard and has seaman? A submarine!

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What do you get when you cross a monkey and a fish? An unlikely premise upon which to base a joke

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Q: What's brown and looks like a weasel? A: A weasel.

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How do you become a multi-trilionere? Get bored...

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Why did the middle-eastern man fly his plane into the Empire State Building? Because he was a bad pilot with an interest in American architecture.

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What did the mute say to the deaf man?

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A man comes home to find his wife sleeping with another woman. He molests them both.

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Why did the kid need glasses? A monkey threw a fridge at him.

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What do you get when two chickens cross a road? -Salmonella stricken hobos

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An american took a vacation to Mexico.... the American police were contacted 3 days later... the American was supposedly killed during a drug trade...

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A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

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Knock knock. Whose There? Megan Megan Who? Your Wife...

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What do you call an african american child that hasn't eaten in a week? hungry.

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Extra extra read all about it dunkin donuts has now been named dunkin pigs..a cops favorite hang out.

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What can fly, but can not swim? Malaysia Airlines Flight 370

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How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb...1 How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb...2

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A nuclear device is dropped on hiroshima. Does it make a sound? The answer is yes because the americans are laughing in Enola Gay

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a robber walks into a bank. he steals everything and kills the guards

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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