Why did the deaf man attend the music concert? He was invited by friends and wasn't doing anyhting else that evening.

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Q. What happened first The Tree or The Apple. A. Johny Appleseed.

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Q: Why can't a tomato fly a plane? A: Cuz it's a tomato

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The girl was really drunk and passed out. She woke up the next day with a hangover.

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AWWWWWW YEEESSSS!!!

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have you ever heard of the mexican that went to college...no...oh me neither

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Q) What do you call a black man swinging from a tree? A) A very silly man as it is potentially dangerous

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69

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How do you get your girlfriend's yapping Chihuahua to be quiet? Throw it through a window.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, Ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? Interrupting Cow who, unlike his quiet friends back on the farm, enjoys to speak when others are nearly finished with their sentence.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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What do you call a fat person with no friends? An individual who is over the expected weight of a person their age, who finds themselves disliked by people in their s surroundings, possibly due to their weight problem, but also it may be because of any personality defects they may have, or they simply may prefer to be alone.

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A man became infected with Staphylococcal Food Poisoning. The doctor said, "You only have 24 hours to live." He died 24 hours later.

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whats your name whats the color of the sky whats the oppisite of down

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whats worse than jonny james obviously

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Why was the Mexican in pain? Someone hit him with a frying pan 5 times across the face.

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Whi can't John sleep? Because he is dead!

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? -Nothing, he doesn't know sign language.

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three peanuts where walking down a dark alley, one was asalted

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give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

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What is the difference between 1000 dead babies and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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Why was was a black guy carrying a tv out of someone else's house. He was helping them move.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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