Fitzsimmons. We met at your wife's work party.

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I was approached the other day by an officer as he asked... "Son where are your parents?" I replied, "I dont know i'm an orphan" The officer then laughed and walked away

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what's the best way to get your younger sibling to stop being annoying? Shoot Him

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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"Merry Christmas, Mom! My gift to you is...ME!" "I brought you into this life you disrespectful brat!" He then proceeds to a cliff.

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Yo Momma is Like a Prostitute... ...I pay her for sexual intecourse

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whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket.

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Bob loves Anne. Anne loves Bob. No one cares.

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What do you call cheese thats not yours? Somebody elses cheese

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What is black and white and red all over? Interracial sex partners with smallpox.

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i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

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A 10 year old underpriveledged boy goes to the second mile camp and meets his new counselor: Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky. The two bond very much and talk a lot. Sandusky invites the boy back to the locker room to shower because the boy got muddy. The boy takes a shower, gets clean, and goes back to his cabin. The boy has a great time at the camp and goes home.

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Why did the polar bear cross the road? He didn't, there are no roads in Antarctica.

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Why did the snappy dresser take a button off of a coat? To see a button fly! NO YOU IDIOT YOU DID IT WRONG, IT'S SUPPOSED TO ABOUT ABOUT A "BUTTER FLY" OMG YOU DOLT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Yo' momma so fat she buys clothingthat is bigger than most other people's clothing

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Why did the white man cross the road? To pay his taxes.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I eat mop I eat mop who? That's strange, most American's don't eat poo I'm Asian

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what did the history teacher say to his class? Get your books out.

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What's the difference between a boodle and a scoodle? Ladoodle!

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What's the difference between a tigar and a shark? One's a land mammal.

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Sam: This math homework is gay. Cory: You should pursue a romantic relationship with your gay math homework.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven liked to eat numbers lower than itself.

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Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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