- Anti Joke

The only difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer is the taste.

Whats the difference between black and white. Nothing they're both colors.

There once was a boy walking over a railroad track. He got hit by a train. He died.

There was once a guy who was so crazy...he was sectioned.

Q: What does Chinese look like? A:Chinese

What do you call a orphan with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Scrood

knock knock who's there? The police your family is dead

Why didn't john go to school? He has terminal cancer and he must stay at hospital

Have you seen the blind man's new house? No. Neither has he.

Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am color-blind, I hate my life

Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

Women's Rights

nick ya honkin of b.o m8

why did the alien eat the cow? peer pressure

what do you call a homeless man? poor.

Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

My lady, that is the backside of trust, I have decided to trust you, how am I supposed to feel about the fact that I believe to the point where I know that you mean everything you are saying? And that if you had any interest in backstabbing me, I would be risking my life, wife and friends. Do you not get trust? If you keep thinking like that, tomorrow you could be suspecting the mailman for being a spy, I can, and could tell you that I will cut ties with my employees, but then I would have you not only to believe me, but to support me financially, I do not need much, in fact, I need you to trust me, and if you do not trust me, what does it matter if I quit? You could accuse me for typing books that alter the mind (all books do), you could accuse me of having killed Nero and taken over... The point is, if you cannot trust me, then I cannot help you with what you ask, and if that is a requirement for our friendship to persist, then you are not looking for a friend, but for a employee.

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a doorstep? A: Matt.

How many Jews can you fit in a one-person car? --One in the drivers seat, 30 million in the ashtray

Beka has AIDS

John: Hey Pablo why are you standing outside Home Depot. Pablo: Because I work here.

What did Harold homeless man get for his Birthday? after several years of a meth abuse Harold lost contact with his family. As a result Harold received nothing but an extra bowl of soup at his local soup kitchen.

What did the monk give to the cancer patient? His love and reassurance.

What did the frog say to the other frog Your a chode

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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