What did the homeless man get for Christmas? I don't know, why don't you go ask him?

Knock knock. Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? (smell my poo)

A guy walks into a bar, has a few drinks with his mates and gets highly intoxicated.

How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw them.

What's funnier than a dead baby? An episode of 'Friends'.

Q) What's worse than getting dumped by text? A) Getting hit by a fridge.

Pull my finger ouch..

What did the clock say to the book? I have no batteries.

Why was Adam sad? His wife found him cheating with several women which led to a lengthy and messy divorce and him losing custody of his two children and his house.

Why Is Six Afraid of Seven? because he is black.

Why was the mom crying? Her son was found in the oven.

Whats a Quires favorite type of sport?--- A contact sport

What do you call a dog with no wings? A dog

Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the other side Why did the lollipop cross the road ? It was stuck to the chicken's head Why did the chicken commit suicide ? He couldn't get the lollipop off its head

why was the black man wearing a ski mask? he was skiing.

What did the homeless man get for christmas eve? Hypothermia. What did the children get for christmas day? A traumatic experience when they tripped over his snow-covered corpse.

What's the difference between Mel Gibson and a pineapple? Well at a molecular level, not much because both are made up of atoms.

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because Suzy had no arms.

Q. want to hear a really funny joke? A. Fred Figglie-horn

What did the cop say to the man arrested for speeding? You were going over the speed limit sir, I'm going to have to give you a ticket for that.

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

It is so hard to write an antijoke.

Mugger: Give me all your money. Victim: No. Mugger: Okay. (Moves on to find his next victim)

What do dead babies and trash both have in common? They're both in my dumpster.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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