What did Grandma give little Ben for Christmas? a wheelchair

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So this old redneck is sitting on his porch when he sees this boy walking down the road and hollers "What you got there boy?" "Chicken wire." "What you gonna do with that?" "Gonna catch me some chickens." The old guy thought: Dumb boy. You can't catch no chickens with chicken wire. Later that evening he sees the same boy walking with a bunch of chickens. The next day he sees the same boy walking with duct tape. "What you got there boy?" "Duct tape" The boy replies. "Gonna catch me some ducks." The old man leaned back and thought. "Dumb boy, you can't catch ducks with duct tape." Later that evening he sees the boy walking with a bunch of ducks. The next day he sees the same boy and hollers: "What you got there boy?" "I got me some pussy willow." The old man hollers: "Hold on, let me get my hat."

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Two friends that are 11 years old are fighting with each other, and one of them says, " Shut the front door." The other friend replies, "We don't even have a front door, because we're both homeless, and we're never going to be adopted because we're on an island, that's how we became friends in the first place."

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? His name.

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what has 8 legs, is brown, and will bite you? my crap

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name one thing that is impossible!! A sober irishman

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yo mamma's so fat you're fat too, because it's genetical

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How do you stop a baby crying? You don't. Just walk away.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? ... THE DOOR!!

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How do you get a cat out of a tree? You throw a brick at it.

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When I exited the hospital one day, I spotted a sign saying "Come back soon!" Soon afterwards I saw people protesting to ban dihydrogen monoxide. The next day on tv I saw an ad for a solar powered lightbulb. Then I saw a Gun control poster. I cried, this being the dumbest thing I had seen yet, and the world was certainly doomed due to humanity's general stupidity. I saw a chicken crossing a packed road. Why did the chicken feel the urge to cross the road?

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Why was the man attracted to other men? Because he was gay, and that is typically what happens when people are attracted to members of the same sex, and it is as natural as a man being attracted to women.

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A black man, a Asian, and a Jew fell into a pit and because of a lack of water they all died.

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Someone made a Titanic joke to me today, It was just plane wrong.

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Why couldn't the black baby swim? Babies do not posses the muscular capacity nor technique to enable them to properly swim.

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How did OJ get away with murder? No one really knows. Probably because he an excellent group of lawyers

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What do you get when you mix a elephant and a rhino? A nasty tasting smoothie.

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs rolling around in leaves? I don't know that seems like a highly improbable situation

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A man with no arms and no legs

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whats polish and black a polish black person

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Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

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The rabbit owns a small business and has trouble getting a loan.

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There were 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were driving with a gorilla when suddenly the car crashed. All the women died but only the gorilla survived. The police investigated with the gorilla and did some simple sign language. The police, using hand motions, asked the gorilla what each individual female was doing before the car crashed. The gorilla ran away for reasons unknown.

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Why did the 14 year old girl have sex? Because she's in love with her boyfriend and that's how she expresses it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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